APRIL - freedom ✨ truth ✨ courage
“wellness is the greatest wealth we pass on to our children. the future ones are already alive in us, as a baby is in the womb, communicating in spirit ways how they feel about our choices, about our way of being. already they are letting us know what kind of world they want us to leave for them. this is why in some moments we feel peace, in other moments we feel conflicted. when we know our way is wrong, it is because the future ones have let us know from their spirit womb in us that our way is wrong. we also feel their delight when our way is life. —Jaiya John
dear friends, dear community,
here we are again…yet another month has gone by.
for many of us, humans and non-humans, it's a difficult time to be alive in this world. it's courageous to keep living and even more courageous to love while living. whether navigating the external oppressive world or internal oppressive world or both…it can take a toll on one’s physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well-being. i say this from my own lived experience navigating the chronic manifestation of our world in this body.
pause.
welcome back those who have been with me and welcome new friends who recently joined this community. welcome home🏡. here we cultivate community as i share authentic exploration and expression of life. this is my process and i acknowledge that you have your own and that this sharing may or may not support your process. i also offer opportunities for you to enter / deepen / explore / engage with your process🌱.
sometimes something has to come my way a few times to be aware that maybe the universe is nudging me to look at it. this time it’s the mercury retrograde. i don't know anything about astrology and it never piqued my interest until now. looking a little closer at what is the mercury retrograde, the strong intuition, confusion, frustration, mishaps, communication & technical glitches that have been unfolding in my world this month started to make sense. this made me pause in awe and wonder. life is multidimensional and layered…so much different from my colonial conditioning. i still intend to talk to Cleo* to gain a deeper understanding. for now, that's all i will say about that.
i invite you to pause to acknowledge the wars that are going on far away in places like Congo, Sudan, Palestine, Ethiopia, Mexico, etc. or perhaps the war that's going on in our own country or on your own streets. it might be a subtle war where people are divided and do not see each other like siblings, instead as other or enemy. there may be more subtle wars going on in families where family members cannot be together, speak to each other or look each other in the eyes. maybe there are wars in our hearts - opposing parts, excluded parts - and we can't find settledness, rest or ease.
i invite you to also acknowledge those working for peace and resolution in places of conflict like Congo, Palestine, Haiti, etc. let’s acknowledge the work that's been done closer to home, in our communities, to bring people together, relieve strife and move towards more justice and peace. we would like to acknowledge that even in our hearts, there may be work to cultivate more understanding, acceptance, inner harmony and peace.
art by @soulfriuts
there are 32 war conflicts in the world
how many conflicts exist in your community?
how many conflicts exist in your heart?
our practice is to resolve all conflicts nthere are 32 war conflicts in the world
it is easy to be carried away by despair, helplessness, anxiety, worries, etc. during these turbulent times. sometimes we may feel that to show that we care, we must drown in the suffering. if we are drowning in suffering, we won’t be of much help as we have lost the balance of the mind and someone will have to care for us. we may be caught in guilt if we don’t show in some way that we care. this is also harmful as we can neglect the reality of our capacity and do self-harm. working for peace in the world and in our hearts are equally important and helpful.
art by @alixagarcia
freedom starts within
Ghan* used to remind her students that we cannot give what we don’t have and we must never leave ourselves out of the equation and we start from where we are. even though there may be a desire to relieve suffering in our world, we must gauge our capacity. it’s not wise to abandon self for social action. this self-harm will eventually spill out to those around us and into the world at large. it’s not less important to grow one’s capacity or tend to the wars within than working towards justice in community and the world. if we want peace, we must move in the direction of being peace. we cannot underestimate the power of embodied peace and how that ripples outwards. for many years, my practice was to cultivate the capacity to be with suffering and it’s a continual practice of expanding capacity even as i engage in social change.
“the true focus of revolutionary change is never merely the oppressive situations which we seek to escape, but that piece of the oppressor which is planted deep within each of us…” —Audre Lourde
art by @devthepineapple
navigating loss and truth
in recent times, i have been navigating separation and loss. i was reminded that sometimes, i have to close my windows and doors (sense doors - eyes, ears, etc.) and go within. i scaled back and i wasn’t sure if i would be in a place to write this month and i gave myself the space and freedom to not write. there were times this month when my heart felt raw and sore and it needed extra care and nourishment. when times get rough like this, i have to intentionally do more resourcing practices. when i felt inner resourced, i could tend to the suffering (anxiety, heartbreak, loss, etc.) and began to understand it. there was more trust, attunement within as well as without.
i got a front row seat into the inner workings of my attachment system and wiring. i got to see how different that is from my social conditioning of attachment bonds. with more inner trust and safety, truth may reveal itself. each time truth reveals itself, is an invitation and opportunity to begin to loosen preconceived ideas and adjust to what is real and true. this is a circular learning process and the universe is kind. i am reminded again and again that whatever life gives is good and i can choose to use it to deepen self-understanding and love which ripples out in how i show up for others. a byproduct of this adjusting to truth is the lessening of those inner struggles, sense of wholeness and inner peace. as the truth, reality, was coming up against preconceived ideas which are false. this is a continual process of learning, unlearning, relearning with a lot care and trust that life is offering the medicine needed for liberation.
“when we discover something to be true today through our own direct experience, we will see that our previous assumptions were wrong, or at least incomplete. our new way of looking transcends yesterday’s desire, prejudices, narrow-mindedness, and habits. we see that to use the golden molds and emerald yardsticks of yesterday’s understanding is nothing less than slavery or imprisonment. when we attain a new understanding of reality, it is impossible to accept things we know to be false. our actions will be based on our own understanding, and we will follow only those rules we have tested through our own direct experience. we will discard false rules and conventions of the current social order. but we have to expect that society will turn on us with a vengeance. human history is filled with the tragedies caused by that vengeance. history teaches that we die if we oppose the system, yet many individuals continue to challenge the darkness, despite the danger in doing so. those who pursue the truth are members of the community of truth seekers and reformers throughout time and space. they do not resign themselves to a collective fate that offers no laurels. —Thich Nhat Hanh, fragrant palm leaves
MAY 1966: Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. & Thich Nhat Hanh in Chicago at a joint press conference to call against the Vietnam war.
courage
society is not designed for truth and the fullness of our humanity. coming from a cultural background where it wasn’t safe to speak, be and live one’s truth, i am seeing that it takes a bit of courage to face what is real and true - to go against the programming. there are times when i don’t want the truth as it feels too much. those false preconceived ideas and images of life are so luring, delicious and easy to get caught in, yet they cause inner struggle, suffering. how to ease into the truth? how to cultivate fearlessness? there are many ways and i am offering one... safely meeting life as it happens. no matter how difficult it is. no matter how impossible it seems. with support, safely meeting even 1% or 10% of what’s presenting itself. the universe is kind and won’t give us more than we are ready for. and even if we meet it 1%, that effort counts and ripples out to other areas and when that difficulty comes back around again, it’s 1% less and we can work with it again. so we can nibble at the challenges. e.g. when i worked with my fear of being harmed, it surprisingly affected my fear of drowning and all of a sudden i could float in water. we can also see if the universe is giving us what we need to safely meet the challenge and work with it…this includes supports, resources, etc. i often ask the universe to give me what i need to move through a difficulty. so far, i have been given what i needed. living this way, i touch the miracle of being alive in these times when the odds seem to be against me. from my experience, each time i am able to meet life there is a natural confidence that… it wasn’t so bad, i did it and i had what i needed and i didn’t have to run away or hide and maybe i can do this again if something else comes my way. i don’t have to go back to the old ways of responding. i am developing new ways. gently leaning in and out. each time we move through a difficulty, a drop of lived experience goes into the bucket of courage. this courage cultivation is a gift to the future self. over time courage increases and so does the capacity to be in relationship with life (within and without) as it’s presenting itself. sometimes, it sucks and we don’t want what is presented. it may be unfair. yet, in it there is something. there is something!
“everyone knows that peace has to begin with oneself, but not many people know how to do it. —Thich Nhat Hanh
this process not only helps to cultivate courage but it can help to resolve trust and mistrust. is life really for me? can i trust that this “misfortune” is for me and there is good in it? can i trust that someone genuinely wants to support me?
i will be that broken record and say it's a circular process and it takes time. my grandpa used to say… “a nuh same day leaf drop inna wata e rotten. it’s not the same day leaf falls into the water it rots. JAMAICAN PROVERB EXPLAINED. the same is true that it's not the same day you plant a wholesome seed it sprouts 🌱.
sweetheart you deserve all the love and care available to you. you don't have to work for it or pay it back. spirit gifted it to you. —Kenyatta A
i acknowledge that to have space and time for practice is a privilege. many moons ago, i didn’t and i was fortunate to reorganize my life based on Thay’s teaching of simple living as well as Ghan’s guidance of filling my jar with the important things first. i found something online that explains the concept…HERE.
wherever we are on our path, life continues to nudge us in small and big ways. no one is immune. this reminds me of the importance of organizing life for life. if life is too full, there is no space for life to happen.
i will pause here and end by inviting you to check in to see how this sharing is landing for you.
i would like to offer lots of gratitude to Cleo, (my mom by way of my dad) who each month reads over my share, corrects my grammar and reflects back how it's landing for her.
thank you for your interest 🙏🏾. i hope something in this share is beneficial for you.
with care and trust 💝,
Kenyatta A
NOTES
Thich Nhat Hanh (a.k.a. Thay): my root teacher
Ghan: my dharma mama
Cleo: my mom by way of my dad
sangha means community
CREDIT
art by @soulfruits, @alixagarcia, @devthepineapple
plumvillage.org
COMMUNITY UPDATES
for this period the healing scholarship fund awarded
scholarship to four persons for one-on-one support / trauma care
UMOJA
2 sangha friends are helping us to register in canada
i continue to volunteer at the local basic school offering the children presence, play as well as assisting one of the teachers with her lesson plan.
the yellow flowers women’s network (@yellow_flowers_ja) retreat, organized by locals for locals, unfolded splendidly. it was my first retreat here in JAMDOWN. there was lots of joy and laughter. this event reminded me that even though babylon system is oppressive, Jamaicans are very good at cultivating joy as well as community and are ingenious. the universe dropped in an unexpected guest, Kevin Wallen, who offered an impromptu presentation called a paradigm shift. Kelly shares it HERE. ACTIVITIES: devotion, meditation, short hike to a waterfall. becoming unstoppable presentation. potion making. movie night. i got to offer morning meditation after devotion as well as a teaching (combination of plum village’s 4 noble truths, InterPlay as well as community resilient model (CRM)) and a deep communal sharing organically emerged from the teaching.
whatever is unfolding here is still fairly young, organic and is guided & supported by the creator, ancestors, and earth. i am not alone. we are not alone. we continue with faith and trust.